Are you or have you ever been angry at God ? If you are, it’s okay to be angry. God can take your pain. No matter what you are going through, He understands and will be there for you if you let Him. It’s easy to forget, when you are in the midst of your pain, that you are not alone.
It says in Matthew 11:28-30 MEV:
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavily burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me. For I am meek and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”Matthew 11:28-30 MEV
When I Was Angry at God
I haven’t been angry at God very often in my life. Mostly, I can only remember a few times. You see, when something goes wrong, it’s usually myself that I blame- not God. But there was one time, in particular, that I was so angry and hurt that I didn’t know how to handle it. I couldn’t stop the tears. But, at the same time, I was closing off my heart.
Back in 2008, I met the love of my life, John. I never thought that would happen and had pretty much given up. You see, I was 41 years old and thought that I was too old to find love. Before we got married, I went to the doctor and was told that I couldn’t have children. However, a year later, miraculously, I did get pregnant. We were both so excited. After being told a year earlier that I couldn’t have children, now, here I was, pregnant. The blood test I took at the doctor’s office even confirmed it. I started working on a baby quilt so it would be done by the time the baby came and we started picking out names. We chose “Abigail Grace” if it were to be a girl and “David Michael” if it were a boy. Our joy was short-lived, however.
When I was 9 weeks along, we were driving to a business conference . We left a little early and had a few extra days so we decided to do some camping. The first night, I started to have a miscarriage. I lost the child I thought I would never have. I never got to hold her in my arms.
I was so angry at God, I didn’t know what to do. Hurting so deeply that I couldn’t hold back the floodgate of tears and the anger I felt at God. I yelled at Him. Tried to wall off my feelings. It was overwhelming. It hurt even worse than it otherwise would, I believe, because I felt like this child was a gift from God. Getting pregnant in the first place was a miracle. And, now, the child was gone. Even though it hurt so bad that it felt like my insides were being torn out, God never left me or John. He just continued to love me and hold me and carry me. His presence was so strong, it felt like his arms were just wrapped around me.
God took my pain and my anger and He healed me. Oh, not physically and definitely not instantaneous. I was never able to have another child. But, He did heal my broken heart. Somehow, I know that I will see my child in heaven one day. She is safe with God. There isn’t anything that I’ve been through, that God doesn’t understand.
One of my favorite verses has always been Romans 8:28 because, no matter what happens, God will work it for good.
“We know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”Romans 8:28 MEV
I may not see it right now or understand, but I know it is true.
It’s Okay to be Angry
So, it’s okay to be angry. God can take it. Just like He did with me, He will take your burdens and your pain and heal your broken heart. Release it to Him in prayer and trust Him. He will never let you down. It would have been easy to let all that anger build up and cause me to be bitter. However, that wouldn’t help me at all. I would just continue to be miserable. By releasing it to Him, even if I didn’t understand, it enabled Him to take it and heal me. One day at a time. Sometimes, only one moment at a time. This life isn’t easy. There are so many things that can cause us to be angry at God and cause bitterness to rise up in our hearts. But, that is no way to live.
Joy of the Lord
It really is possible to find joy in the midst of the most horrible of circumstances, but only by trusting and having faith in God is that even possible. Jesus came to bring healing to us in every way. Healing for our sins to bring us back into right relationship with Father God. But, also, for every other way. Jesus also healed the sick, gave sight to the blind, healed the lepers, raised the dead, and so much more.
When I am going through something hard or, maybe, feeling depressed, etc. One of the things I do is find a way to put my focus back on God and take my eyes off of myself. Oftentimes, it can be very difficult. One of the ways I do that, though, is by listening to my favorite praise and worship music. One song, in particular, seems to be my first go-to place- “Joy of the Lord” by Twila Paris. It reminds me where my strength comes from- His joy and His unconditional love.
Believe me, I know it’s not easy to let go of pain and hurt when you are angry at God, grieving, or experiencing some kind of loss. It’s totally understandable to be angry and God understands. And, it’s almost impossible to find joy in the midst of suffering. But with God, all things really are possible if you seek Him out, have faith and trust Him with your pain, suffering, problems, etc. He will meet you where you are and heal you if you let Him.
Check out My Blog page for more great content.
This site may contain links to affiliate websites including Amazon and I will receive an affiliate commission for any purchases made by you using such links but at no additional cost to you.