Today, I wanted to share with you some inspiring and funny Christian quotes and sayings. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can get a little too serious and just need some inspiration, need to laugh and find the humor in life.
There is so much negativity in this world. All you have to do is watch the news. Also, we all face various challenges – financial, loss, physical, family, etc. So, it’s more important than ever to find a way to smile and discover the joy of the Lord in our daily lives.
There’s a scripture that says “the joy of the Lord is your strength”.
Twila Paris also has a song by the same name that continues to be one of my “go to” songs when I am especially stressed.
So here you go. Be inspired and Have a great laugh.
Inspiring & Funny Christian Quotes
Funny Church Quotes
A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to people who will never get there. – H. L. Mencken
Go to church this Sunday – avoid the Christmas rush. – London graffito
Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen
I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. – Billy Sunday
Inspiring & Funny God Quotes
You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic. – Doris Egan
God is the immortal refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos. He will set them above their betters. – H. L. Mencken
God wants full custody, not just weekend visits. – Unknown
If God is your partner, make your plans BIG! – Unknown
Funny Prayer Quotes
The church is prayer-conditioned. – Anonymous
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips
Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire? – Corrie Ten Boom
Most people do not pray; they only beg. – George Bernard Shaw
Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. – William Ings
Prayer must never be answered. If it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. – Oscar Wilde
Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. – Robert Frost
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. – Dante Rossetti
Funny Quotes About Faith
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. – Wilson Mizner
Some things have to be believed to be seen. – Ralph Hodgson
I’ve never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith – it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe. – Robert A. Heinlein
If there were no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn’t even eat hash with any safety. –
Josh Billings
Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch, which ought to be applied as sparingly as possible. – E. M. Forster
Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains…. But it can put mountains where there are none. – Nietzsche
Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. – R. Buckminster Fuller
The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. – Benjamin Franklin
We have not lost faith. but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession. – George Bernard Shaw
Trust God and do the next right thing. – John Adderley
FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT THE BIBLE
The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.- G. K. Chesterton
On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. – Curtis McDougall
I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. – George Carlin
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. – Ronald Reagan
For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets. – Unknown
FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT CHRISTIANITY
A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. – Billy Graham
Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. – Robert Orben
Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. – Napoleon
A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. – Thomas Ybarra
The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. –
G. K. Chesterton
People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry
Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple. – Thomas Paine
The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. – Mark Twain
Forbidden fruit creates many jams. – Unknown
FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT HEAVEN AND THE AFTERLIFE
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.- Mark Twain
What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking? – Unknown
Eternity is a long time to think about where you went wrong. – Unknown
FUNNY QUOTES ABOUT LIFE, SOCIAL MEDIA AND MORE
The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12. – Anonymous
If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence. – Unknown
Can’t sleep? Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd! – Unknown
Forecast for tomorrow: God reigns, and the Son shines. – Unknown
Download your worries and get online with God. – Unknown
Give Satan an inch and he’ll become your ruler. – Unknown
If you use the church’s WiFi, are you receiving God’s signal? – Anonymous
Conclusion
I hope you were inspired and found a few things to laugh at with these inspiring and funny Christian quotes. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is good medicine.
If you liked this Twila Paris song, you can find more great music to inspire you on my Favorite Music page.
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