Inspiring and Funny Christian Quotes

Inspiring and Funny Christian Quotes

Today, I wanted to share with you some inspiring and funny Christian quotes and sayings. I don’t know about you, but sometimes I can get a little too serious and just need some inspiration, need to laugh and find the humor in life.

There is so much negativity in this world. All you have to do is watch the news. Also, we all face various challenges – financial, loss, physical, family, etc. So, it’s more important than ever to find a way to smile and discover the joy of the Lord in our daily lives.

There’s a scripture that says “the joy of the Lord is your strength”.

Select What I’ve Learned as a Writer & a Christian	
What I’ve Learned as a Writer & a Christian
Nehemiah 8:10

Twila Paris also has a song by the same name that continues to be one of my “go to” songs when I am especially stressed.

So here you go. Be inspired and Have a great laugh.

Inspiring & Funny Christian Quotes

Funny Church Quotes

A church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to heaven brag about it to people who will never get there. – H. L. Mencken

Go to church this Sunday – avoid the Christmas rush. – London graffito

Most of us spend the first six days of the week sowing wild oats, then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure. – Fred Allen

I’m completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. – George Carlin

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. – Billy Sunday

Inspiring & Funny God Quotes

You talk to God, you’re religious. God talks to you, you’re psychotic. – Doris Egan

God is the immortal refuge of the incompetent, the helpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos. He will set them above their betters. – H. L. Mencken

God wants full custody, not just weekend visits. – Unknown

If God is your partner, make your plans BIG! – Unknown

Funny Prayer Quotes

The church is prayer-conditioned. – Anonymous

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. – Emo Philips

Is prayer your steering wheel or your spare tire? – Corrie Ten Boom

Most people do not pray; they only beg. – George Bernard Shaw

Prayer gives a man the opportunity of getting to know a gentleman he hardly ever meets. I do not mean his maker, but himself. – William Ings

Prayer must never be answered. If it is, it ceases to be prayer and becomes correspondence. – Oscar Wilde

Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me. – Robert Frost

The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank. – Dante Rossetti

Funny Quotes About Faith

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. – Wilson Mizner

Some things have to be believed to be seen. – Ralph Hodgson

I’ve never understood how God could expect His creatures to pick the one true religion by faith – it strikes me as a sloppy way to run a universe. – Robert A. Heinlein

If there were no faith there would be no living in this world. We couldn’t even eat hash with any safety. –
Josh Billings

Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch, which ought to be applied as sparingly as possible. – E. M. Forster

Faith, indeed, has up to the present not been able to move real mountains…. But it can put mountains where there are none. – Nietzsche

Faith is much better than belief. Belief is when someone else does the thinking. – R. Buckminster Fuller

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason. – Benjamin Franklin

We have not lost faith. but we have transferred it from God to the medical profession. – George Bernard Shaw

Trust God and do the next right thing. – John Adderley


The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people.- G. K. Chesterton

On the other hand, the Bible contains much that is relevant today, like Noah taking 40 days to find a place to park. – Curtis McDougall

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me… they’re cramming for their final exam. – George Carlin

I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. – Ronald Reagan

For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets. – Unknown


A real Christian is a person who can give his pet parrot to the town gossip. – Billy Graham

Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch. – Robert Orben

Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich. – Napoleon

A Christian is a man who feels repentance on Sunday for what he did on Saturday and is going to do on Monday. – Thomas Ybarra

The Christian ideal has not been tried and found wanting, it has been found difficult and left untried. –
G. K. Chesterton

People who want to share their religious views with you, almost never want you to share yours with them. – Dave Barry

Christianity is the strangest religion ever set up, for it committed a murder upon Jesus in order to redeem mankind from the sin of eating an apple. – Thomas Paine

The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but the fly comes close. – Mark Twain

Forbidden fruit creates many jams. – Unknown


Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.- Mark Twain

What section would you prefer in the afterlife? Smoking or non-smoking? – Unknown

Eternity is a long time to think about where you went wrong. – Unknown


The number of followers you have doesn’t make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12. – Anonymous

If you are more fortunate than others, build a longer table, not a taller fence. – Unknown

Can’t sleep? Counting sheep? Talk to the Shepherd! – Unknown

Forecast for tomorrow: God reigns, and the Son shines. – Unknown

Download your worries and get online with God. – Unknown

Give Satan an inch and he’ll become your ruler. – Unknown

If you use the church’s WiFi, are you receiving God’s signal? – Anonymous


I hope you were inspired and found a few things to laugh at with these inspiring and funny Christian quotes. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Laughter really is good medicine.

If you liked this Twila Paris song, you can find more great music to inspire you on my Favorite Music page.

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